Badosa: "What hurts me the most is doubting myself"

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Paula Badosa lands at her favorite tour of the calendar with more doubts than certainties, although there is something that never changes: her passion for tennis. “Every day I think about quitting, but that's when a feeling much stronger and more powerful emerges.”

The vast majority would have thrown in the towel already facing the amount of injuries, unforeseen events, and pains that Paula Badosa has been experiencing in recent years. How far those times are when she held the World No. 2 ranking, a scenario that has mutated into a kind of nightmare where her own body prevents her from competing regularly. Currently outside the top hundred of the rankings, the Spanish player has a lot at stake this week at the WTA 500 in Charleston, where we could hear her talking about her situation during the Media Day prior to her debut. It's cruel to see everything she's going through, but that survival instinct and love for what she does cannot be more inspiring.

The Voices Inside Her Head

“I think all players have those voices inside our heads. Sometimes you can control them, you can silence those negative voices a little better, but then there are other moments in your life where it's impossible, you just can't. Personally, it has been a very difficult stage for me, since I got injured over a year ago, it has been a period of tremendous difficulty.”

Criticism from the Outside and Also from Within

“Of course, there will always be people who doubt you when tough times come, when things don't go as they should, or when expectations aren't met. I already know that, I have always been very aware of it, but what hurts me the most is when I am the one doubting myself. This is where I am now, doubting absolutely everything, both my body and my tennis.”

Desperation Every Time She Looks at the Rankings

“At the beginning of the year, it was very difficult to control my thoughts, I was being too harsh with myself mentally. In a way, I still am today, all because I want to recover that lost time. This is what is generating the most anxiety for me, the fact that I can't accept where I am right now every time I look at the standings. I'm really not used to seeing myself in this position I am in now, so it's an internal mental battle that I have to deal with myself. I'm trying to face it, see everything with perspective, and be a little patient.”

Her Most Important Weapon: Her Brain

“I love working on my brain, my mind, for me it's like it's another muscle of the body. Additionally, it's a muscle that never stops, it's the only one that never stops. There are others that you can recover, you can stop them, but with the brain you can't. For me, it's the most important, I don't even do it for a professional tennis issue, but already for a mental health and personal life matter. I spent a lot of time out last year, so I was working on mentality every day, now I meditate every morning.”

Paula Badosa Explains Why She Doesn't Retire from Tennis

“Every day I think about it... but, right at that moment, something stronger and more powerful appears: I still have faith, I still believe in myself. I know deep down I have it, I love this sport too much, I am so passionate about tennis that I feel it every time I step on a court to compete. It gives me goosebumps no matter where I play, I just love living those moments.”

This news is an automatic translation. You can read the original news, Badosa: “Lo que más me duele es dudar de mí misma”