The defeat that forever changed Ashleigh Barty's career

The sports career of Ashleigh Barty is worthy of study in every aspect, even those where she decided to step away from competition. A prodigious hand for playing this sport, but a fragile mind, not always prepared for the demands of the circuit. That's why she retired at 25 and never returned. In her book ('My Dream Time'), she shares that her childhood dream was always to win Wimbledon, the tournament she first conquered in the junior category at just 16 years old and later repeated as an adult. The London grass is special, perhaps that’s why she experienced one of the biggest setbacks of her career there. A defeat that, according to her, marked a turning point to leave behind all her fears and start becoming a legend.

After two sabbatical years to take a break from tennis, Barty resumed activity in September 2016, playing four tournaments to show that it's never too late to try again. By 2017, we saw her completing the full calendar, climbing from #272 to the top 20 in the rankings, a meteoric rise confirming her talent. The true test came in 2018, a season demanding a new level of quality, more mental than technical. However, the 22-year-old player struggled, stagnated, and had trouble maintaining her own pace of progress. At Wimbledon, with a record of 27-11, she was ranked No.17 globally, the same position she started the season in. Interestingly, it was at her beloved Cathedral where she was to suffer her most devastating defeat.

Although her face always reflected kindness and shyness, the truth is that Barty carried the procession inside. She always suffered from a duality in her head, two voices whispering conflicting ideas to her. One tells her she is not good enough, while the other denies it, encouraging her to continue. Both feelings are real, living inside her mind, as familiar as they are confusing. Both are at the wheel, winning and losing matches, emerging at important moments. The one from Ipswich listens to both voices, which determines her version of each day. That Saturday, July 7, 2018, on Court 3 at the AELTC, all she hears is: "Ash, you're not good enough".

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On the verge of breaking down in tears, the player doesn't understand why she thinks that way, when she is truly in glory. At times, she relaxes, opens her eyes, and realizes she loves that place. She is in love with the court, the grass, the tournament... we are at Wimbledon!! She should be crying, but out of joy, pleasure, honor. However, inside, she is on fire, which her opponent, a 21-year-old Daria Kasatkina, takes advantage of, seemingly shouting louder with each hit she connects. They face each other in the third round, the #14 against the #17 in the world, theoretically, there is no clear favorite, but the danger lies in thinking further. A victory would place her for the first time in the second week of a Grand Slam, where Alison Van Uytvanck awaits, a match to dream of reaching the quarterfinals, the top 10... but her mind won't let her. The voices have her cornered, reminding her she is good, yet perhaps not enough.

GOOD WOLF, BAD WOLF

To understand exactly how these carnivores attack, one must turn to Cherokee culture, where a young man asks his grandfather which of the two will win the battle within his head. One wolf is evil: it has anger, greed, arrogance, and self-pity, as well as ego and sadness. The other wolf is good: it has faith, compassion, joy, and love, as well as humility and hope. Both bite each other, trying to control the boy. The young man wonders: 'Which wolf will win?'. The grandfather replies: 'The one you feed'. One must always choose between fear and faith, between inferiority and belief, between 'Ash, you're not good enough' and 'Yes, you are, go Ash!'.

That day, Barty feeds the wrong wolf.

To be honest, she has been feeding the wrong wolf for months, only that day, breaking one more layer, she will end up manifesting it publicly, crossing the red line. Blinded by the adverse score, the oceanic abandons her process and starts looking for shortcuts. She dismisses patience, the step by step, and becomes obsessed with taking leaps. That is how she fails, although the impulse has been there since last week, in Eastbourne. There she loses to Caroline Wozniacki, attributing it to the grass not being perfect, forgetting it's her favorite surface. A simple excuse, the real reason is that the Dane doesn't miss a shot and is willing to spend a whole day pushing the ball, the total opposite of her. In the battle against immaturity, she ends up winning the first set (6-4, 6-3), a problem she's been facing more and more, always in important matches, precisely the ones she desires the most. Will it happen again at Wimbledon?

From the sidelines, Craig Tyzzer always promotes a friendly, calm, and professional coexistence. At almost 60 years old, the Australian is the coach chosen by Barty since her return to the circuit, a charming man who not only provides tactical elements but also makes the journey light and familiar for her. Upon arriving at Wimbledon, the coach realizes that he forgot to pack white trousers, so he will have to go to the first store he finds if he wants to be allowed entry into the club. A moment of parody that helps create a good atmosphere within the team, although peace was not going to last long. Let's see how Ashleigh's mindset works throughout the draw.

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First round, Stefanie Voegele: "We know each other well, we are friends, we faced each other two weeks ago in Nottingham, and she couldn't do anything, but this time she is causing me problems. Maybe she has observed me well, she has nothing to lose, so it's time to fight. I am relaxed but frustrated, I hit my leg with my racket, even though I know I shouldn't. I am upset, the difference between missing a ball and making it should not mean much to me, but with each small mistake, I see a colossal failure. I am exaggerating everything. I win the match (7-6, 6-3) and leave the court tired, frustrated. It's not a good sign."

Second round, Eugenie Bouchard: “The media talks a lot about the match because we both won Wimbledon Junior, although she also reached the final in 2014. I get caught up in that narrative, another sign that things are not going well. I try to find something to motivate me, to give me energy, but I'm not sure. I start the match incredibly well, missing only a couple of first serves in the entire first set. In the second set, everything falls apart, I get broken, the stress increases. Some easy points get me out of trouble, and I end with a good streak. I don't know how I do it, but I win the match 6-4 and 7-5”.

Third round, Daria Kasatkina: "She's a prodigy, a really tough opponent, but the prize is advancing to the fourth round, undiscovered territory for me at this stage of my career. The opportunity to reach the second week of a Grand Slam has arrived. And to make it more exciting, it will be on Wimbledon's Manic Monday. At first, everything flows, I lead 4-1, I feel like I have it. I know I'm a good grass court player, better than her. I feel fresh, controlling the match, but I must watch out for my arrogance and doubts, as both can bring me down. Suddenly my expectations rise, and at that moment, everything changes”.

The change is not random, it is carried out by a Kasatkina who begins to draw different shapes with the ball, reducing the speed of the ball. The Russian hits high and slow, again and again on her backhand, as if she were Wozniacki. She doesn't aim for winners, she just wants to dictate, to bother. And she succeeds. She doesn't give her rhythm to work, doesn't allow her to search for angles, forces her to stay neutral, hitting back. This deviates her course, loses all clarity, lacks the maturity to adjust the plan. So much fragility leaves her speechless, multiplies her anger, annihilates her. When Dasha closes the first set 7-5, the sensation is like falling off a precipice. At that moment, what Barty wants is to leave the court and exit the tournament.

“The problem is that when things are going well, I am very good, but when they go badly, I am horrible. When I am winning, I seem like the million-dollar girl, as if I were playing with my opponents, but when my tactics don't work, I lack the maturity to solve my own problems,” explains the former World No. 1 in her memoirs. “Basically, when Plan A doesn't work, I don't see other options, even though I have Plans B, C, D, and E in front of me. In the end, I opt for Plan F: cursing, criticizing, muttering, and grumbling. It's simpler, so that's what I do. ‘To hell with everything, this is crap!’, I shout in the middle of the court. The match progresses and I just shake my head, make faces, respond to my box, my family, fans, but above all to my coach. I always respond like this when I feel cornered, I get irritable, I vent by spewing venom,” she summarises with anguish.

THE DEFEAT THAT BREAKS THE CAMEL'S BACK

The match is over and the statistics tell a story: 24 unforced errors. She dropped 12 of the last 16 games, after being up 4-1, ending up losing 7-5 and 6-3. A gift that Kasatkina gratefully accepts. The dream of conquering Wimbledon fades for another season; Barty is shattered. She has not only lost the match but also her dignity, a feeling that burns in her stomach. As she leaves the court, she avoids meeting her fans, dashes to the hotel, locks herself in, and starts to cry. She is ashamed, embarrassed, stripped of the magic that the press so often attributes to her. That night, she cannot even look at herself in the mirror, but she still has a problem to solve.

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“I never speak with Tyzz at any point. She leaves the match without a word, when she usually stays for ten minutes. Later, I find out that she left the court without saying anything, the court where I insulted her, where I publicly rejected her help. [...] I'm told that she took a flight the next day to go back to Australia.”

The third and final coming of Barty to the circuit would be impossible to understand without the figure of Craig Tyzzer, the man who bet on her after two years off, taking the risk to train a player without ranking. After all his work, now she repays him in this way, treating him as if he were trash, ruining the relationship over a simple match, for not acting like an adult, attacking him like a selfish child. The tension still lingers in her body, she still doesn't dare to call him, but she sends him some messages, apologizing over and over again. Days go by and there is no response, no reconciliation.

“At that moment, I just wanted to hear his voice. I didn't want the encouragement from my manager, or my boyfriend, but the words of encouragement from my coach. I need his voice, to restore the course, the direction of the project," admits the Queensland tennis player. Finally, the day comes when Tyzz responds. In a very solemn tone, he tells her that maybe he is not good enough for her. He shares some moments of disappointment on the court and emphasizes that her behavior is not normal: ‘You're not prepared for things not to go your way, but in tennis, there are no fairy tales, you have to go out and win it’.

Deeply hurt, Tyzzer reminds her of the moment when Ash, in front of 2,000 people on Court 3, gestures for him to leave. She does it to him and the rest of the team. This is the kind of behavior he does not intend to tolerate, he has never tolerated it, it is a decisive factor for him, the closest thing to a non-negotiable principle. ‘What it looked like to us is that you were telling all of us to go to hell,’ the coach states. This phrase breaks Barty's heart, completely destroys her. It's the last straw, confirming that something has to change.

• Why do I always seem like I'm about to take off and then stumble?
• Why do those stumbles always turn into a ruinous collapse?
• Why am I so emotionally distressed by victories and defeats?
• Why am I not performing as well as he knows I can?
• Why can't I feed the good wolf?

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The questions pile up, but Tyzzer tells her very clearly, "You are as good as any of those girls, you can compete with anyone, you can beat them all... But there's something going on in that damn head of yours that I have no idea how to fix. We need help."

HELP ARRIVES

Ben Crowe is the person coming to the rescue, an expert in leadership and mental coach for multiple stars. A student of Philosophy, Anthropology, and Literature in the 80s, he was for years the youngest employee at NIKE, helping athletes understand their own narratives, improving them as individuals and competitors. The proposal is fabulous, the problem is that you don't know him at all, you've never heard of him. The one who is convinced is Tyzz, who decides to bring him into the team. "After hitting rock bottom, it's time. Before, you weren't ready to accept help, but now you are," the coach explains. Barty has doubts, and Tyzz knows she does. "This is how we can improve, but you have to fully commit, you have to invest, you have to trust me." Fortunately, if there's one person the Australian trusts, it's him.

One Saturday in July, Ashleigh meets with Crowe in his office. In his warm and elegant office, there's a photo of Andre Agassi, a suit from Cathy Freeman, and sneakers signed by Shane Warne. Not bad for starters to build confidence. As the conversation starts, the first textbook questions come up, those to which Barty has no answer:

'How do I behave when I'm nervous? Do I resort to silence or violence? Do I fight, flee, or freeze? Do my cheeks turn red? Do I argue?'...

[At those moments, Barty mentally adds a couple more: Do I insult my loved ones? Do I tell them to leave Court 3 of the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club?]

… When does it happen? Is it when I feel judged? Is it when people stare at me fixedly? Is it when I sense I'm losing control of a situation or a match?…

[Barty keeps listening, although in her head all she can think about is Wozniacki and Kasatkina driving her crazy with their backhand shots]

… What can I tell myself at that moment the next time it happens? What can I think to support myself in strength and not in weakness? What can I say to grow and not shrink? What is the offering I can hold up high that the bad wolf will ignore and the good wolf will eat?”.

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The Australian is overwhelmed by the questionnaire, slowly starting to connect with her thoughts, but the spark doesn't come until a minute later when Ben reveals some mantras from the best athletes he has worked with:

• “Strong. Aggressive. Unstoppable”
• “I love this challenge”
• “Breathe in the energy around you”
• “I am imperfect, but worthy”
• “I am enough”

Ben explains to her that these patterns serve to remind that there is always a way to overcome everything, whatever you may face. He shares his entire professional and personal story, encouraging her to also open up and release her own ghosts. Ash responds by recounting every detail from the first day she picked up a racket to her last defeat at Wimbledon two weeks ago. She cries almost the entire time, talks and cries for four hours straight. Two whole boxes of tissues. The experience is as powerful as it is terrifying, seeing her life flash before her eyes. After hearing the whole story, Crowe shares his insights:

“Athletes have the bad habit of understanding their life story solely through their professional career, confusing the games we play with the people we are. You need to forgive, change, and reconsider things. You need to find your true story: Who am I? What do I want? What are my values? What are my dreams? What are my needs? What motivates me?”

Leaving the building, Barty is satisfied with the time spent but full of doubts. She has no solutions for anything, so it is Crowe himself who, after deeply analyzing the case, offers an answer days later: “It all revolves around self-esteem. If we do not reconcile our self-esteem, we tell a story of shame, develop impostor syndrome, or build defenses around the ego. When those excuses no longer work, we collapse, criticize, and judge. We intimidate and blame. We transfer that pain from our body to something or someone else. When that fails, we turn to addictive behaviors, but it is not the behavior we are addicted to, but the feeling it gives us. Yet that never works,” the coach concluded.

BINGO!

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Combining Tyzzer's work and Crowe's analysis, something starts to change within Barty. She feels the team more united, finally reaching that common understanding. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, and here we have a good example. The player finally acknowledges the group of people around her, all those who want to help her along that path, and who will do so not only because they care about her, but because they enjoy the views. Because they want to go to the same place as she does. This is how the new Ash Barty would be born, the same one who twelve months later would be a Grand Slam champion and world No. 1.

This is an automatic translation. You can read the original news, La derrota que cambió para siempre la carrera de Ashleigh Barty