Ruusuvuori speaks up for mental health in tennis: "Don't keep everything inside"

Andrés Tomás Rico | 21 May 2025 | 16.36

Ruusuvuori raises his voice for mental health in tennis: "Don't keep everything inside you". Photo: Getty Images

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The story of Emil Ruusuvuori has surprised a large part of the tennis world. The Finn, who reached number 37 in the world, was off the courts for over four months, and earlier this month, he confessed that he had decided to stop due to mental health issues and had been experiencing constant anxiety attacks for several years. He has delved into his story through a letter that the ATP has published.

The 26-year-old player begins by explaining how his last few months were before he stopped: "Last year, I went four and a half months without touching a racket. But it wasn't for the reason you'd expect. It was for my mental health. When I was unwell, I started to forget things. My body was in one place, but my mind was elsewhere. It went from something as simple as almost forgetting my rackets to experiencing panic attacks. I knew I was pushing it too far at Roland Garros, because what was going on in my head during tournaments started to affect my life off the court. I couldn't sleep well, to the point where I started having nightmares. I would wake up sweating, heart pounding, and unable to breathe. It made me think I was going crazy. I would get up in the morning and go practice, but I wasn't there. It became a matter of routine. When the time came for my first-round match in Paris, I felt as if I wasn't really on the court. I wasn't present, except for my feet on the clay, so it didn't surprise me to lose in straight sets.".

Constant Panic Attacks

Following this dramatic event, Ruusuvuori thought it would soon be over, but it wasn't the case: "I tried to take one or two weeks off to see if that would help before going to Surbiton for an ATP Challenger Tour grass-court event. Instead, I had a panic attack on the court. I'd tell you what I felt, but I don't remember the match. As you can imagine, these things scared me a lot. I started having panic attacks off the court, even while driving."

"During Wimbledon, I had to pull over, stop, and get out of the car because sometimes I felt like I might faint. I had no control. Somehow, I made it to the third round of the tournament, but halfway through my match against Giovanni Mpetshi Perricard, I mentally blacked out. I remember wanting to run off the court. It was a ridiculous place: I was playing in one of the tournaments I dreamed of competing in as a child, and all I wanted was to be somewhere else or with someone else. I soon realized something had to change. Enough was enough."

The Finn took the opportunity to explain when these panic attacks began: "The first time I talked to a professional about my mental health was about 10 years ago, but my struggles became more of an issue recently. Three years ago, in Miami, was the first time I had a real panic attack. There's a very fine line between feeling normal nerves and something more. It's normal to be nervous before a match; you might start sweating, for example. Everyone's different, and that comes with the sport, or really any profession. But this was different."

"One morning in Florida, I woke up feeling as if someone were strangling me. It was impossible to breathe. It was as if someone were pressing on my chest. We got in the car to go to the venue, and I couldn't speak. My mind was going wild with a million swirling thoughts. When we arrived, I was shaking. I could barely hold back the tears long enough to tell my coach I wasn't feeling well. I felt terrible and didn't know what was happening. Somehow, I managed to calm down a bit, went out on the court to face Maxime Cressy, and won the match. I talked about it a little with my team afterward, but not much. I just moved on. Once I was on the court, I could disconnect and focus on tennis. A couple of days later, I took Jannik Sinner to a final tiebreak. No one would have known what I had been through."

Despite his improving athletic performance, reaching number 37 and making it to the finals of the ATP 250s in Pune and Hong Kong, his problems did not disappear, and instead of communicating, he kept everything inside: "Part of the problem is that I learned to be successful on the tennis court and then just followed that path as long as it lasted. I kept my mouth shut. Something was wrong, but I kept doing what I had done for so many years. It was what allowed me to play tennis worldwide, so it made sense, right?".

"Being a professional athlete, you try to survive any problem, forget about it, and leave it behind with the hope that it will disappear. Somehow I could do that, and that's the cruel part of sports. After Wimbledon last year, I started with a new team and tried to play in Washington. When I went to bed, I started feeling like there was someone else in the room. There was a kind of fear, the sense that someone was there trying to harm me. I beat Borna Coric in three tough sets, but tennis wasn't the hardest part. On match point against Borna, I wondered if I should double-fault to get out of there. I traveled to Montreal but withdrew citing a stomach bug, but it was really my mind. I decided that enough was enough".

Hung up the racket for four and a half months

Ruusuvuori decided to stop, but that's when everything got more complicated: "I didn't touch a racket for four and a half months, and some of those days were the hardest. For the last 10 years, life was very steady. There was always the next match, the next tournament. Everything was moving, and suddenly, it wasn't. It was a shock because suddenly, it was very boring, and there was nothing to do. For the last 10 years, life was so steady. There was always the next match, the next tournament. Everything was moving, and suddenly, it wasn't. It was a shock because suddenly, it was very boring, and there was nothing to do. I didn't feel any joy anymore. I wasn't competing on the court, and now I was struggling to get out of bed, and honestly, I even questioned if I wanted to live, which scared me a lot. Even worse was how this affected my loved ones and how worried they were. I couldn't go to a tennis court, especially in Finland. I didn't want to see people related to tennis because I couldn't answer their questions. It was a tough situation".

After the four-month break, he decided to return: "The good thing about this process is that I've come to terms with not playing again. Before, it wasn't even an option. Everything revolved around my tennis and my career. But still, I always had the idea that I would come back. It wasn't even a matter of time. It took a while to prepare my body to compete again, and my first tournament back was in February, at an ATP Challenger Tour event in Tenerife. The first match was terrible. It was very difficult to be on the court. The second was a little better, but since then, I've had ups and downs".

And although he still suffers panic attacks, he now knows how to handle them: "It's still not easy. Last month, I went to South Korea and had one of my worst panic attacks. I woke up in the morning, and my heart was beating too fast. Before the match, I was in the shower and still feeling very strange. My heart was like a car revving too high. I was sitting, and my heart rate was at 100 RPM, and my normal resting heart rate is around 37 RPM. That wasn't very good, and you start to question if it's worth it. The difference is that now I have the ability to help myself in those moments. When thoughts start flooding in, I have more tools to calm down".

Wants to help people with his story

Once aware of his problems, the Finn's goal is to raise awareness about the importance of mental health and emphasize the need to seek help: "I could fulfill my dream and become a tennis player. As I achieved that goal, I had the mentality that I must do whatever it takes to keep moving forward. I didn't talk about mental issues because I saw them as a weakness. That's perhaps the key word. It was something I felt didn't exist in sports, and allowing someone to see me vulnerable meant showing that I wasn't strong enough."

"I think the biggest change in me now is that if I don't want to be on the court, I won't force myself. You have to do it a bit, of course. In sports, you can't feel good every day; it's not about that. It's a struggle; you have to overcome those challenges. But you have to feel that there's at least a purpose and a passion for it, and then you can do it. If my story helps, even if it's just one person, it will have been worth it. My main hope is that people know they need to take care of their minds and take care of themselves. That's the key. If you're not well, there's nothing more important than helping yourself. Don't keep everything inside. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to have a bad day. But always remember one thing: hard times don't last forever", concludes Ruusuvuori in this extensive letter, reflecting one of the main issues of today's society, mental health.

This news is an automatic translation. You can read the original news, Ruusuvuori alza la voz por la salud mental en el tenis: "No lo guardes todo dentro de ti"